she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
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What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Alive.
So much puke
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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