How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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