I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Someone came in the potted fern
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
