Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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