I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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