As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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