Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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