I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
