Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just threw up on my dentist
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
