Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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