Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
