I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
