quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
