fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize