Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
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Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
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I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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