just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
