his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
