that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
