Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
