Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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