My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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