Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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