Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
so much tequila, so little girl.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
