1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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