so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
