Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Randomize
