chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize