What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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