Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
well you can't waste a boner
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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