do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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