Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
