her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
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There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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