She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The adults are the big ones right?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
