ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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