Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
