I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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