Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
