Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
