Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
