let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think i have herpe
just one?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
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Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
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Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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