It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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