hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
