I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
