so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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