I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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