Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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