So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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