im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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