You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
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