What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
