dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
