So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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