so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
